Making It As Me

 Our friends know about The Snowdog.  When we reference the Snowdog, you know that Jim spoke of him with love and I spoke of him with disdain.  The Snowdog is a 1997 Nissan Maxima, pictured on the left with my handsome, perfect, Lovey.  He was riddled with rust spots; He was missing logos; And worst of all, he had an exhaust system so loud that it was impossible to have a conversation while riding in him, and even more impossible to go unnoticed while driving him...rust spots and all.  Which is why I didn't have the nicest things to say about Jim's sweet Snowdog.  But, we have history with that stupid car too.  Jim bought him in 2001 when we first started dating.  I didn't have a working car at the time, so we kind of shared the Snowdog.  You know, back then, it was only a 4 year old car and it was the nicest car my Lovey had ever owned. And it was super sweet of him to let me drive around town in it after I dropped him off at work....

Today I received my first hate mail.  It came to my home address and as you can see is not signed, nor did it have a return address.  I read it and felt like throwing up.    The feeling that I hurt people literally makes me sick to my stomach.  And the fact that I was called a fake felt like a punch in the gut...because this blog was something I started so that I could feel more real and honest.  My biggest fear was that people wouldn't want to read about my life, so that line hurt.  So, to whoever wrote me this letter, (and I know you'll see this, because I know you're still reading my blog because as my sister said, you are thirsty for my life), I think you accomplished your mission.  You made me feel really shitty.  And I cried as my perfect husband consoled me (thank you for that shout out to him by the way).  So, now that I got that out of the way and am feeling better, I'm going to write about it; because as you know from ...

I will be starting my new position as a Medical Office Assistant for the Eckelmann-Taylor Speech & Hearing Clinic at ISU on Wednesday.  I am excited and nervous and smiling and filled with optimism about this new career!  I'd been at my current job for 9 years this time and 6 years before that.  So, all together, I spent 15 years with a company that was just what I needed for about 14 of those years.  My co-workers became a 2nd family, and the friendly, and close atmosphere that comes from a small business really shined through.  They cared when I went through some of my hardest times, and they rejoiced when I went through my best times.  People change.  I changed. Naturally, things will change.     Though it is not always easy,sometimes moving on from something that doesn't feel healthy and bring you joy anymore is imperative to your emotional happiness.  I will be starting a new job in a new field in a couple of days and I can ...

I am a proud woman.  And it's because of my room mates.  There is nothing I am more proud of than my marriage and my son.  And I know it's annoying, because I say it all the time, but I am living this life in a way that is MY perfect.   I grew up in houses full of women.  Wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, crazy af (me included), strong, funny, women.  I have 4 incredible sisters and a Wonder Woman Mom.  I grew up with 2 Dads (one in each house) and I'm pretty sure neither one of them had a chance b/c these women in my life were fierce and ferocious.  My sisters made me who I am.  And some how, my upbringing with all the estrogen and girl power, made me know that I was destined to be a mom of boys.  In my case, it will most certainly be boy-singular, but I always knew.  So, when I "found out" Keaton was a boy I was ecstatic.  "Found out" is in quotes b/c like I said, I knew. So, now, here I am, living with my house of men and I...

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! Look at me and my Mama over there in this very recent pic.  I love this picture of us because:  sweaters & hair.  It also has nothing to do with this blog, I just thought you all should see it.  That's how much I love it.   Be the Sparkle!  Like I mean, be the shiny, happy, super one and not the dull, angry, weak one.  We're all heroes, you just have to find your super power.   Mine is (at least I think it is) positivity, and being able to find the silver lining or at least being willing to find the silver lining.  Silver Lining initials are SL.  Sarah Laning's initials are SL.  Coincindence?  I think not. I'm also cursed...what would the superheros call curses?  My kryptonite?  I am cursed with intense, impatience and being enormously empathetic.  I suck at waiting.  I mean, I really, really suck at it.  Ask my Lovey.  It drives him crazy.  I think that's what he...

Today I aim to inspire you.  I aim to encourage you to try.  I aim to make you believe.  I am going to push you to START.   It is so important for your life to MAKE THE CHANGES YOU NEED! Once you start, everything changes.  You have to be ready.  So, get yourself ready.  Here I am at 38 years old, finally feeling ready to explore. Finally feeling like it's OK for me to change things up a little bit.  Finally feeling confident enough to go for it.  All I had to do was start.   This year has been huge for me.  This exact time in my life has allowed me to open my mind to what was hidden before.  Hidden by my insecurities and my CONSTANT, all consuming quest for motherhood.  Here in 2017, my little darling is almost 2 1/2 years old and although I am in no way an expert on being a mom, I am in no way ever prepared for the bat shit crazy things a 2 year old does, I at least feel settled in my role of Mama.  I ...

So, I heard that I need to write more on here, or y'all will stop reading.  Is that right?  I didn't realize this was going to be a full time job.  :)  kidding, not kidding.  I truly didn't realize that I'd need to write so often.  I just thought I'd do what I usually do which is just to start rambling as usual when something stressful, or beautiful, or moving happens to me.   Well, if you must know, I've had a beautiful day so far.  It is my Lovey's birthday!  Happy 42nd Dummy!  And I took the day off to celebrate him...alone...with the house to myself because he's at work.  😁   <-----These Google emoji's are weird!  Anyway, I had something to do this morning and now the rest of my day will be all about Jim!  Kidding...again.  I plan on napping and writing and researching and napping, and coloring and I guess I'll make him some damn cookies too.  Did you know that I HATE baking?  I do.  I re...

Today at my Dad's, my sister Leslie encouraged me to start a blog.  My dream of writing my story and becoming an author came up, and Leslie said that by starting a blog first, I would be able to gain followers, an audience, people who love me, and will someday buy my book! So, to keep up with my theme of 2017, I thought "Why not?  Let's try it and see what happens."  Shrug shrug, twitch, twitch.  And so here I am with my own domain name and everything!  sarahbhappy.blogspot.com.  Cool. I'm 38 years old. I'm a wife to my Lovey Jim and a proud Mama to one bonkers, psychotic, mischievious, impatient, perfect, sometimes the worst, but mostly the best little 2 year old Keaton James.  Or Keats as we call him around these parts.  It took a lot of little miracles and a couple enormous ones for Keats to be (which I will tell you about in time).  So when I say I'm a proud Mama.  I mean I'm a PROUD Mama.  I mean I am a HAPPY Mama. ...