I am a proud woman. And it's because of my room mates. There is nothing I am more proud of than my marriage and my son. And I know it's annoying, because I say it all the time, but I am living this life in a way that is MY perfect. I grew up in houses full of women. Wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, crazy af (me included), strong, funny, women. I have 4 incredible sisters and a Wonder Woman Mom. I grew up with 2 Dads (one in each house) and I'm pretty sure neither one of them had a chance b/c these women in my life were fierce and ferocious. My sisters made me who I am. And some how, my upbringing with all the estrogen and girl power, made me know that I was destined to be a mom of boys. In my case, it will most certainly be boy-singular, but I always knew. So, when I "found out" Keaton was a boy I was ecstatic. "Found out" is in quotes b/c like I said, I knew.
So, now, here I am, living with my house of men and I am HAPPY. And Keats and Bonesy are my joy. They are my boys. They are my baby's. They are my heart. But, Jim. My Lovey. He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. He is the one who finally made me feel really special. My husband is the one who accepted me just as I am and who never asked me to change and if I suggested I might change, he would balk and ask why? He makes sure that if I'm changing, I'm changing for me because he loves me just as I am. He always has and always will.
Jim was the missing piece for me. I knew by week 2 of dating him that I loved him.
We started out as friends. When I met him at work, he was married. I never thought anything more than that he seemed like a nice, funny, guy and that he had really pretty hair for a boy. :) (Those of you that knew Jim in his 20's, know that he had long, glorious, rock star, hair).
His situation changed ("I'm a divorcee" Jim said one night in a debonair accent as he clinked his beer can to a champagne flute that no one was holding) and he started coming out to the Avanti's parties. I'd start seeing him at the bars and eventually, he started hanging out in my circle and we connected. After months of him driving me around (my car was almost constantly broke down and I more than once left it abandoned in a random place) and being flirty friends, I grew impatient as I am known to do, and one night when he was dropping me off at my house I just blurted out "Are you going to kiss me or what?" And he said "well yeah." like he had it planned all along. That was in 2001. And we've been together ever since except for a 5 month period of break up which left me lost, and admittedly bonkers with heartbreak. But, that's a story for another time.
These past 16 years that I've spent with this man have been my best years. And I'm going to tell you why. There is no way I can write every single thing I love and cherish about my man, but I can give you some good notes.
Jim is a fixer. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it because it's the truth. He fixes EVERYTHING. And it's sexy as hell. I am a hot hole. That means that I turn into an asshole when I'm too hot. So, you know what he did? He made me a personal air conditioner made out of a bucket, a 2 gallon jug of ice, and a fan. When my makeup brushes break, he glues them back together. When the tall light bulbs need changing, he does it. When the flag pole got blown down in a wind, he fixed it. And most importantly, he fixed me. Way back in 2001, I longed for love and felt broken and he came along and made me feel important and special like nobody ever had. I needed him so badly....I still do. Thank you science for this man! My personal, handyman fixer upper!
I'm going to pepper some of Jim's FEW faults in here as well to add some humor. He's not great at compliments. Most of the time (although he is getting a little better!) I have to fish for one. One night a few months ago, we were going on a date and I put on a dress so I asked...
Me: Does it make me look trashy since you can see my bra straps?
Jim: You look the perfect amount of trashy.
Wow. Thanks Lovey!
Here's another "compliment" I received from my guy as we were getting ready for a friend's wedding:
Me: How's my hair look?
Jim: (1 million second pause while he looks at my hair and face) and then finally says "Not bad at all."
Me: Just what every wife wants to hear. You need to work on your complimenting skills.
Jim: (totally indifferent) says "Ok."
But those times when I come downstairs ready for work, or for errands, or I've just rolled out of bed and he tells me I look pretty or that my hair looks great, my heart beats a bit faster because getting a true compliment from him means so much to me!!!
My Lovey, is FUNNY! He makes me laugh all the time and that is SO important to me. It comes right after "looks" in what I look for in man. Just kidding! Sense of humor comes right after foot size *wink wink*. Just kidding again! Truthfully, it's number 1. If you can't make me laugh, then BYE. In fact, most of the time he doesn't even know he's being funny, he just cracks me up by being himself. I have a list of what I've coined "Classic Jims" in the Notes app of my phone. Here's one: Last year Jim said that the butthole is the crack epicenter. If you know me, you'll know that anything having to do with butts, cracks, or anything generally in that area always tickles my funny bones because I'm grossssssssss. One time I asked him if I had anything in my teeth and he said "more teeth." Wtf? It's so bonkers and obnoxious and out there, that I love it! I love him and his funny brains humor!
My Dummy LISTENS. He listens to me like nobody else ever has. He ALWAYS lets me finish my words. There is not much else to say about this, because it is so summed up for me just by saying he listens. He always listens. I love this about him!
He is HANDSOME as F. Everyone always tells me that Keats looks just like Jim and sometimes peoples ask if that bothers me and it doesn't....because Jim is the most handsome man I have ever known.
He's really fucking SMART. And he's so out of my league.
He can't spell. But thank dog, he can math so hard. If you ask him to add or subtract or multiply or divide numbers, he knows the answer in seconds. I cannot math at all, so this always impresses me and gives me a heart boner.
He supports me like it's going out of style. SO supportive. He always has my back. And here's another Classic Jim for you... once months ago, I was having a rough time and he wrote me: "We're a team and I don't want you to ever think you're on your own about things that bother you or when your back is to the wall." Ummmmmmm Swoon Much???? He probably doesn't even remember saying that, but I do and I put it in my Classic Jim's because it meant SO much to me. This guy....almost everything i want to do and try, he says "Go for it!" When I'm down, he's there. When I was sick, he was there. Every drive, every appointment, every surgery. He was right there. He is the BRAVE ROCK of our house.
And one of my most favorite things about him besides his looks, foot size, and sense of humor is that he is an absolute genius at being a Dad. Oh my ding dang damn, he has more patience than anyone I've ever known and he fathers like he's been doing it his whole life. I always knew he would be great, but seeing him be a Daddy to our Keaton gives me butterflies and goose bumps and fills me with so much LOVE.
Yesterday, my babiest sister Mimi (Maya as most know her), sent me an article. And she knows me, so she told me it was sad and that I maybe shouldn't read it at work, but she sent it because she said it reminded her of the way I talk about Jim. So then I read it at work. And the article was written by Amy Krause Rosenthal who was dying of ovarian cancer and it was titled "You May Want to Marry My Husband". The article is her totally praising her husband Jason, and bragging about his wonderful qualities and all the things about him that made her fall in love with him. And it was sweet, and beautiful, and wonderful and incredibly sad. And at the end, she writes "I am wrapping this up on Valentine's Day, and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins." And then she leaves a blank space "as a way of giving you two the fresh start you deserve." And I did not cry. I was moved. But not extremely heartbroken and I told my sister that I would have definitely been balling my eyes out if he had been the one that died because I felt like I would be able to feel the pain of a husband I loved so dearly leaving me through death. So, what I felt exactly, and what I told my sister exactly was that Amy Krause Rosenthal is a better woman than I, because if something happened to me, I do not want Jim to find love again because I can't bear the thought of him being with anyone else. Or loving anyone else like I feel he loves me. And that is why this is a Love that makes me selfish. Isn't that awful? Aren't I awful? #selfish #af Maybe some day I will grow up and change my mind. I remember my best friend Cricket asking me one time if I died wouldn't I want Jim to move on and I looked at her and yelled "NO!" and she yelled "SARAH!" right back. And that's why I'm admitting this. Because I know it's true. I answered her question immediately and it was a big, fat, NO.
I am living my fairytale. The inside of Jim's wedding ring is engraved with "you are my fairytale". I've known two things since I was a little girl. The 2 things that never changed were that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. And that's super old fashioned, but that was always my dream. The one dream that never changed for me. And now I'm living it. The thought of someone else living my fairytale makes me feel selfish like I've never felt selfish before. And it sucks because it kind of makes me feel ugly to admit that. Lovey, I know you're going to read this. And I hope you don't hate me after you do, but I'm pretty sure I've told you this to your face before....I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else and if you try to fall in love again after I die, I'll die. My heart will shatter so hard, that my urn will break right along with it.
I love you Dummy. Thank you for your LOVE...and for loving me despite me not supporting your future love life.
So, now, here I am, living with my house of men and I am HAPPY. And Keats and Bonesy are my joy. They are my boys. They are my baby's. They are my heart. But, Jim. My Lovey. He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. He is the one who finally made me feel really special. My husband is the one who accepted me just as I am and who never asked me to change and if I suggested I might change, he would balk and ask why? He makes sure that if I'm changing, I'm changing for me because he loves me just as I am. He always has and always will.
Jim was the missing piece for me. I knew by week 2 of dating him that I loved him.
We started out as friends. When I met him at work, he was married. I never thought anything more than that he seemed like a nice, funny, guy and that he had really pretty hair for a boy. :) (Those of you that knew Jim in his 20's, know that he had long, glorious, rock star, hair).
His situation changed ("I'm a divorcee" Jim said one night in a debonair accent as he clinked his beer can to a champagne flute that no one was holding) and he started coming out to the Avanti's parties. I'd start seeing him at the bars and eventually, he started hanging out in my circle and we connected. After months of him driving me around (my car was almost constantly broke down and I more than once left it abandoned in a random place) and being flirty friends, I grew impatient as I am known to do, and one night when he was dropping me off at my house I just blurted out "Are you going to kiss me or what?" And he said "well yeah." like he had it planned all along. That was in 2001. And we've been together ever since except for a 5 month period of break up which left me lost, and admittedly bonkers with heartbreak. But, that's a story for another time.
These past 16 years that I've spent with this man have been my best years. And I'm going to tell you why. There is no way I can write every single thing I love and cherish about my man, but I can give you some good notes.
Jim is a fixer. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it because it's the truth. He fixes EVERYTHING. And it's sexy as hell. I am a hot hole. That means that I turn into an asshole when I'm too hot. So, you know what he did? He made me a personal air conditioner made out of a bucket, a 2 gallon jug of ice, and a fan. When my makeup brushes break, he glues them back together. When the tall light bulbs need changing, he does it. When the flag pole got blown down in a wind, he fixed it. And most importantly, he fixed me. Way back in 2001, I longed for love and felt broken and he came along and made me feel important and special like nobody ever had. I needed him so badly....I still do. Thank you science for this man! My personal, handyman fixer upper!
I'm going to pepper some of Jim's FEW faults in here as well to add some humor. He's not great at compliments. Most of the time (although he is getting a little better!) I have to fish for one. One night a few months ago, we were going on a date and I put on a dress so I asked...
Me: Does it make me look trashy since you can see my bra straps?
Jim: You look the perfect amount of trashy.
 |
| This was the night I looked the "perfect amount of trashy" |
Here's another "compliment" I received from my guy as we were getting ready for a friend's wedding:
Me: How's my hair look?
Jim: (1 million second pause while he looks at my hair and face) and then finally says "Not bad at all."
Me: Just what every wife wants to hear. You need to work on your complimenting skills.
Jim: (totally indifferent) says "Ok."
But those times when I come downstairs ready for work, or for errands, or I've just rolled out of bed and he tells me I look pretty or that my hair looks great, my heart beats a bit faster because getting a true compliment from him means so much to me!!!
My Lovey, is FUNNY! He makes me laugh all the time and that is SO important to me. It comes right after "looks" in what I look for in man. Just kidding! Sense of humor comes right after foot size *wink wink*. Just kidding again! Truthfully, it's number 1. If you can't make me laugh, then BYE. In fact, most of the time he doesn't even know he's being funny, he just cracks me up by being himself. I have a list of what I've coined "Classic Jims" in the Notes app of my phone. Here's one: Last year Jim said that the butthole is the crack epicenter. If you know me, you'll know that anything having to do with butts, cracks, or anything generally in that area always tickles my funny bones because I'm grossssssssss. One time I asked him if I had anything in my teeth and he said "more teeth." Wtf? It's so bonkers and obnoxious and out there, that I love it! I love him and his funny brains humor!
My Dummy LISTENS. He listens to me like nobody else ever has. He ALWAYS lets me finish my words. There is not much else to say about this, because it is so summed up for me just by saying he listens. He always listens. I love this about him!
He is HANDSOME as F. Everyone always tells me that Keats looks just like Jim and sometimes peoples ask if that bothers me and it doesn't....because Jim is the most handsome man I have ever known.
He's really fucking SMART. And he's so out of my league.
He can't spell. But thank dog, he can math so hard. If you ask him to add or subtract or multiply or divide numbers, he knows the answer in seconds. I cannot math at all, so this always impresses me and gives me a heart boner.
He supports me like it's going out of style. SO supportive. He always has my back. And here's another Classic Jim for you... once months ago, I was having a rough time and he wrote me: "We're a team and I don't want you to ever think you're on your own about things that bother you or when your back is to the wall." Ummmmmmm Swoon Much???? He probably doesn't even remember saying that, but I do and I put it in my Classic Jim's because it meant SO much to me. This guy....almost everything i want to do and try, he says "Go for it!" When I'm down, he's there. When I was sick, he was there. Every drive, every appointment, every surgery. He was right there. He is the BRAVE ROCK of our house.
And one of my most favorite things about him besides his looks, foot size, and sense of humor is that he is an absolute genius at being a Dad. Oh my ding dang damn, he has more patience than anyone I've ever known and he fathers like he's been doing it his whole life. I always knew he would be great, but seeing him be a Daddy to our Keaton gives me butterflies and goose bumps and fills me with so much LOVE.
 |
| First ever picture taken of my Lovey and Keats |
Yesterday, my babiest sister Mimi (Maya as most know her), sent me an article. And she knows me, so she told me it was sad and that I maybe shouldn't read it at work, but she sent it because she said it reminded her of the way I talk about Jim. So then I read it at work. And the article was written by Amy Krause Rosenthal who was dying of ovarian cancer and it was titled "You May Want to Marry My Husband". The article is her totally praising her husband Jason, and bragging about his wonderful qualities and all the things about him that made her fall in love with him. And it was sweet, and beautiful, and wonderful and incredibly sad. And at the end, she writes "I am wrapping this up on Valentine's Day, and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins." And then she leaves a blank space "as a way of giving you two the fresh start you deserve." And I did not cry. I was moved. But not extremely heartbroken and I told my sister that I would have definitely been balling my eyes out if he had been the one that died because I felt like I would be able to feel the pain of a husband I loved so dearly leaving me through death. So, what I felt exactly, and what I told my sister exactly was that Amy Krause Rosenthal is a better woman than I, because if something happened to me, I do not want Jim to find love again because I can't bear the thought of him being with anyone else. Or loving anyone else like I feel he loves me. And that is why this is a Love that makes me selfish. Isn't that awful? Aren't I awful? #selfish #af Maybe some day I will grow up and change my mind. I remember my best friend Cricket asking me one time if I died wouldn't I want Jim to move on and I looked at her and yelled "NO!" and she yelled "SARAH!" right back. And that's why I'm admitting this. Because I know it's true. I answered her question immediately and it was a big, fat, NO.
I am living my fairytale. The inside of Jim's wedding ring is engraved with "you are my fairytale". I've known two things since I was a little girl. The 2 things that never changed were that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. And that's super old fashioned, but that was always my dream. The one dream that never changed for me. And now I'm living it. The thought of someone else living my fairytale makes me feel selfish like I've never felt selfish before. And it sucks because it kind of makes me feel ugly to admit that. Lovey, I know you're going to read this. And I hope you don't hate me after you do, but I'm pretty sure I've told you this to your face before....I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else and if you try to fall in love again after I die, I'll die. My heart will shatter so hard, that my urn will break right along with it.
I love you Dummy. Thank you for your LOVE...and for loving me despite me not supporting your future love life.
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